A while back someone asked me 'what is my wall,' what is the thing I would stand for, work for, strive for, pray for, and finish until is complete? I knew immediately, at the time, it was the youth ministry I was leading, I would (will still) cross oceans for any of those kids in a heartbeat, but now in a different moment, I ask myself 'what is my wall? This time its more a 'me' thing, which seems strange, but my wall is to live the next 6 months of my life as authentically as possible, so that God may use my life to point others to Him. More on this later...
In the Book of Nehemiah, Nehemiah is tasked with rebuilding the wall of Jerusalem. He has direct instruction to finish this wall, and to not let anyone or anything stop it. While rebuilding this wall, every single effort Nehemiah had was to finish the task the Lord set before him. Every ounce of material, wealth, leadership, and heart went to finishing what he was tasked with. Even when his enemies did all they could to distract him, to pull him from his work, he kept his eyes on his call. Every. Single, Effort. The thing that is even more striking about this story is that Nehemiah didn't just move his own feet, he encouraged others to move with him, he called for those around him to lift and build and fight and trust and just KEEP MOVING. He led in the midst of mocking, of doubt, of literal enemy attack, but he would not get down from his wall. He would not be distracted, he would not be moved.
As I get ready to take off (11 days mind you), I pray to be like Nehemiah, that I will not 'get down from my wall.' I will not be distracted by fear, or nerves, or money, or whatever else may be put in front of me; I want my convictions and truth to lead me to where God is directing, not by my strength or ideas, but by His.
I think in my brokenness, in my anger, in my hurt, and in my joy, some one may see the heart of Christ in me and that is all I could ask. I hate that the word authentic has become a buzz word in the American church because I think it has been cheapened. Authentic relationships are not just a one and done deal, being authentic is not just throwing out an 'eh, this week could have been better,' comment and then quickly moving on to some other topic. Authenticity requires work and time and heartache and quite frankly its something I would rather not do with more than say, 2 people. Its. So. Much. Work. But this is my wall. This is what I will be fighting for. Staying authentic with those I've left behind here in the states, and seeking to build authentic relationships with those I meet in Uganda, too truly know people and encourage their immeasurable worth.
I will not get down from this wall, and I encourage you to ask yourself, what is YOUR wall... what are you willing to fight for... what are you willing to speak into... What is your wall?
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